I must admit that I have neglected my postings lately...
See these past 12 months have been filled with a whole shit-load of loss. It's taken the proverbial wind out of my sails for the last little bit. Melancholy is right now, a very good word.
Then came the death of my dear friend's 14 day old grandson due to a heart defect that could not be rectified. That was a tough service.
So raw the emotions of losing such a wee one
So loved and nurtured during his short stay here on earth
How he touched the hearts of all of us who prayed for a different blessed outcome, that sadly was not to be...
miracle to witness.
Then, just 6 weeks ago, the news that a friend had passed after a tragic motorcycle accident jarred my reality as to the uncertainty of time we are allotted in this place. Waiting for updates and eventually traveling to be with others to celebrate this young mans incredible spirit; tears, laughter, photos and fellowship rounded out a fitting tribute to someone who touched many.
So here I find myself, on the other side of all of this loss and I am myself lost. I read back the words I have written about my life and how at it's end "it will not have been one moment longer or shorter than was precisely planned for my journey..." and I am no longer quite as sure. I understand that we are all headed in the same direction and that no one or no thing will stand forever, but this onslaught of "leaving" has jarred me a bit.
These past months have seen more loss than the entire previous decade. I can say that my faith is intact; I am just lost within the questions of why, and when. How and when is my time? Will it be peaceful? Will we have the time to say our words to each other? Why do the good ones get taken so soon?